Article Published in Curtin University E-newsletter | Faculty of Health Sciences | October 2017

What does brain-building play look like? 
​These steps simply capture how to engage our babies and children.

We've been hearing of disturbing trends for FIFO rosters becoming less family friendly, as mining companies seek to cut costs and those left are desperate to keep their jobs. 

There are many families with a FIFO parent who make the lifestyle work really well - for themselves, their partners and their children. But for some families, the unique stresses from this lifestyle catch up with them - especially mums with young children. Dawson makes comments on FIFO - the effects on partners and the role of organisational leaders - in this article by the Australian Mining Review...

Here's a great paper that gives us an overview of the science of resilience in children. Which kids have it and why, and dispelling some myths...
It not for those wanting a magical solution to raising resilient children :)

The recent AFCC Think Tank of 32 family law experts resulted in a table of considerations for determining post-separation overnight care of children aged 0-3 years. 

The table is reproduced on the last page of this document and is available online at http://www.afccnet.org/Resource-Center/Center-for-Excellence-in-Family-Court-Practice/ctl/ViewCommittee/CommitteeID/27/mid/495

The table is a handy tool to assist in the assessment of individual families. Although its not easy to navigate, it does respect the developmental needs of infants and the unique dynamics of a family system. I am very concerned however by introductory clause number 3 at the top of the document...


Download the file for the rest of my reflections on this important issue.

Dawson

The controversy over this issue has a long history(1). The debate has escalated over the past decade with concerns over family law reforms, although there has been scant new evidence to be considered. Recently, media in the UK (Telegraph, Guardian, Daily Mail, Independent) and here in Australia (ABC, The Age, Sydney Morning Herald) have covered this topic. The media attention has been sparked by the controversial opinions of Penelope Leach – countered by Sheila Kitzinger and fathering advocacy groups. Journal publications addressing shared overnight care of young children (2-10) have been referred to in support of the case for and against shared care after separation. 

It is generally agreed that the important issue here is what is best for the child – not parent rights (see my posts on the comparable issue of the increasing use of child care). The parenting role does not come with rights - it comes with responsibilities. The demand for parental responsibility is highest at a child’s time of greatest vulnerability - around birth and infancy. It is imperative that at this vulnerable time others uphold the rights of the infant.

Whether we like it or not, when we became parents, we became leaders. Children cant help but take their lead from the older people around them. Neuroscientists have proven this at a cellular level detecting microscopic mirror neurons in a child's brain that soak up the messages we give them and use it to build their nerve pathways for the future. And society demonstrates it at a macro level; we cannot help but be affected by the culture in which we live.  For parents this can be a sobering thought! 

As parent we cannot not influence. Frustrating sometimes isn't it! The good news is that when we make mistakes, we can show our disappointment and demonstrate that we are sorry for our actions. Being sorry for mistakes is an essential lifeskill our children need to see modelled. And the sunny-side of parenting is that forgiveness and acceptance is something you can practice too. Children do it well! 

As parents we are not only leaders; we are learners too. And some of the best life lessons are taught to us by our own children.

Here is an ancient text (source unknown) that has helped me to become a better parent.

For tips on children's behaviour, download a free toolkit titled 
Behaviour 10 Top Tips