Dr Peter Gray gives a powerful TED talk that will have you thinking. Have a listen and tell me your response. Agree or disagree? Do you feel stuck in habits or neighbourhoods where play isn't happening? We have tried and tested all sorts of initiatives to create a more playful neighbourhood. Home-schooling, nature play, neighbourhood gardens, markets, picnics, parties, movies, camps and play-overs... we have had a lot of fun getting to know our neighbours! It takes time and wont pay the mortgage, but the friendships and freedom our children have enjoyed has been priceless. To be honest it wasn't an easy transition. The first thing to change was my head space. Cultivating bucket-loads of curiosity and playfulness - and letting go of a tidy house and the fear of being left behind in the career race. It hasn't just been the children who have benefitted. "Play keeps us vital and alive. It gives us an enthusiasm for life that is irreplaceable. Without it, life just doesn’t taste good." Lucia Capocchione
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![]() The controversy over this issue has a long history(1). The debate has escalated over the past decade with concerns over family law reforms, although there has been scant new evidence to be considered. Recently, media in the UK (Telegraph, Guardian, Daily Mail, Independent) and here in Australia (ABC, The Age, Sydney Morning Herald) have covered this topic. The media attention has been sparked by the controversial opinions of Penelope Leach – countered by Sheila Kitzinger and fathering advocacy groups. Journal publications addressing shared overnight care of young children (2-10) have been referred to in support of the case for and against shared care after separation. It is generally agreed that the important issue here is what is best for the child – not parent rights (see my posts on the comparable issue of the increasing use of child care). The parenting role does not come with rights - it comes with responsibilities. The demand for parental responsibility is highest at a child’s time of greatest vulnerability - around birth and infancy. It is imperative that at this vulnerable time others uphold the rights of the infant. A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way. ![]() Whether we like it or not, when we became parents, we became leaders. Children cant help but take their lead from the older people around them. Neuroscientists have proven this at a cellular level detecting microscopic mirror neurons in a child's brain that soak up the messages we give them and use it to build their nerve pathways for the future. And society demonstrates it at a macro level; we cannot help but be affected by the culture in which we live. For parents this can be a sobering thought! As parent we cannot not influence. Frustrating sometimes isn't it! The good news is that when we make mistakes, we can show our disappointment and demonstrate that we are sorry for our actions. Being sorry for mistakes is an essential lifeskill our children need to see modelled. And the sunny-side of parenting is that forgiveness and acceptance is something you can practice too. Children do it well! As parents we are not only leaders; we are learners too. And some of the best life lessons are taught to us by our own children. Here is an ancient text (source unknown) that has helped me to become a better parent. Watch you thoughts, they become your words |
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