Now we are full swing into the festive season, don't forget to take a a breather.
Are you racing from one event to another, one shop to the next, feeling pretty driven? Underneath the festive bling, advertisers are working hard to spend our money, flashing images of success, beauty, power, urging us to feel like we are not 'enough'. We can be swept up in a mindset where we are are left feeling like we want more, we need more and desire to 'be' more.
What is the Christmas message you want to pass on to your children?
Who's standards and expectations are you holding?
Some of us lash ourselves with images of a more successful 'other' - the person that achieves the work promotion, the power, the body or the material stuff of success. There are many mothers who harbour a nostalgic image of the 1950's domestic goddess that bakes, knits and has a spotless house or perfect child. Success might be captured by living in a certain suburb, attending a certain school, or wearing certain clothes. When we fall short, we feel inadequate. This fear is easily passed on to our children.
This year, our family needed a change. After a family discussion we chose not to decorate the tree, we backed right off on buying presents for ourselves and focused more on giving where there is a need. Last week we took ourselves away from the pre-Christmas rush to a quiet spot in the country with not a scrap of tinsel in sight. We spent quite a bit of time mooching about on the beach with the dog, playing board games and reading. I read a book called Daring Greatly by Brene Brown...
Amongst other things Brene talks about our media-driven culture of scarcity and how we can get caught up chasing our tail, never feeling that we have enough time, money, security... the list goes on. She reminded me that the chase is not about stuff, but about our own sense of worthiness. Whether in your workplace or in your home, a core human need is that we find ourselves 'good enough' to be accepted/respected/loved by others. There's the truth.
Whether I'm coaching parents, professionals or myself, the inner struggle around worthiness is often a core concern.
So here's a question for a parent to ask: In the eyes of your child, you are enough?
"To the World you are one person;
but to one person you mean the world."
As the year comes to a close give thanks for the good things. A warm bed, food in the fridge and children who see the beauty in small things. Take a moment to look once more at your world through your child's eyes. It really is chock-full of opportunity, adventure and joy.
'I am enough'